Kitchen Sink
Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
Some years ago I wrote a list of sayings that might be the sort of things that your average bear might say if they were not too busy being a bear. Digging through some old articles, I found some ones I had written about Christmas which I had completely forgotten. There are a couple about food in this list, so they just about qualify being on this blog. Anyway, if you have stuffed yourselves silly over Christmas, you might need some “Lite” relief.
- Bears don’t get smoked salmon. Surely you smoke cigars, and you EAT salmon!
- If Christmas is a time for giving, who gets to do all the receiving?
- Never shove something up a chimney that’s stops something else coming down.
- Bears that hide in wait for Santa are seen as spoilsports – or at least greedy.
- Reindeer are best served medium rare.
- There is nothing more uncivilised than two bears squabbling over the last red nose.
- To remove an arm from inside a turkey it helps to first unclench the paw.
- Christmas Puddings are not missiles.
- Remember, rabbits are not just for Christmas. They are pretty good whenever you are hungry.
- If a bear is smiling at you, make sure you are not wearing a turkey outfit.
- Don’t waste time chasing a turkey when you can just steal one from a butcher.
- Before handing over money, make sure the carol singers aren’t surprisingly furry.
- Christmas stuffing is not a punishment.
- Fake Christmas trees make really bad disguises.
- The safest way to give a bear a present is with a trebuchet.
- Basic arithmetic: a bear at Christmas will significantly increase your food bill.
- Getting a bear out of a fridge is harder than getting him in.
- Remember, bears are not just for Christmas. No, I am serious – you really DON’T want a bear for Christmas!
- Punching a turkey hard is no way to remove the feathers – however much fun!
- Always make sure a bear enjoys his Christmas. If that fails, run.
- If the Christmas movie isn’t Grizzly Adams, panic.
- If a bear is holding up mistletoe he probably isn’t thinking about kissing.
Sunday, October 23rd, 2011
Gred Wallace and John Torode (BBC)
The most recent series of Celebrity Masterchef has just finished having spent most of the series as a BBC Daytime afternoon show. This was not repeats, this was a brand new series, but it has been moved from its prime time slot. According to the BBC this new slot would allow “a greater examination of the celebrities’ cooking skills … There will be more hours of Celebrity MasterChef than ever before.” Pity it is loosing ratings then.
Of course, any of us who have ever spent time in the Media world (and I have lived there for 30 years) knows that your show is NEVER moved to a day time slot because that will be beneficial – it is moved as the last resort before you are axed.
Whatever the case, Masterchef, this present incarnation of the show, has certainly become very tired very quickly. (more…)
Thursday, September 1st, 2011
Philip Morris, manufacturers of cigarette brand Malborough, are using a Freedom of Information act request to force a University to release research into teen smoking habits and cigarette packaging. Okay, so this is not really food related, but as an ex-smoker and advertising person, this grabbed my attention. The entire idea that in recent years makers of “coffin nails,” as my father called them, have become responsible companies has gone up in smoke completely.
In the UK, and across many parts of the world, there is huge concern about teens taking up smoking – you don’t need evidence to show that if you don’t smoke as a teen the chances of you taking it up later are greatly reduced. I started young and smoked for nearly 30 years and I am pretty sure that when I did thankfully give up, I gave up 30 years too late.
The research, which has been gathered using interviews over ten years, talked in confidence to young people aged 13 to 24 and looked into issues of why they started smoking, how they were influenced by packaging, their reactions to marketing by tobacco companies and so on. They were published in the Journal of Adolescents, the European Journal of Public Health and the Tobacco Control journal back in 2009. (more…)
Sunday, August 7th, 2011
I am no lover of supermarkets, but with a lack of choice in my local high street, I have little option but to use them for most of my shopping. It is not a happy situation, but it is one that will get worse not better. Simply fighting against them as suggested by Paul Vallely in the Independent today is all very well, but will probably fail. That does not mean that we should just give up and say to hell with it, but it does need a bit more imagination.
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Saturday, August 6th, 2011
Rick Steins Spain - BBC
I have been catching up (via BBC iPlayer) with the short series on the BBC following Rick Stein through Spain. His Producer,David Pritchard has posted a short Blog about the trip, listing his favourite foods (Damn it David – come and produce me so I can eat everywhere!).
He wanders temptingly through Carabineros (huge, fleshy sweet prawns), Fabada, a been and sausage stew, more prawns, lamb cutlets, and more.
I have always been a lover of Spanish food, but outside of some pretty tacky tapas bars, finding the genuine article is hard work – round here in Milton Keynes, more or less impossible. Oh, we get the odd market with a piella stand, and some Iberico ham of sorts in supermarkets, but little else.
A thousand foods under one market roof in Palma
Many years ago, I stayed with friends in Majorca. I cooked several meals for them and was able to enjoy the huge indoor market in Palma. The Spanish love their markets, it is the soul of their food industry, and it shows in the huge range or foods and the high quality of the produce.
You would have thought that with the British Love of southern Spain in particular that our country would be stuffed full of Spanish food, but it isn’t. Some of the problem is that so many Britons go to Spain to some purpose built resort like Magaluf – a culturally baron town where the burger and the chip is king. But that does not explain everything.
One Welshman in Seville explained that there were 3000 Tapas bars there, some specialising in Fish, others in vegetables, others in the wonderful ham made from black pig. A good Saturday night would be spent crawling from one bar to another, taking in the wine and the beer, but also the amazing dishes each serve.
We have NOTHING like that here and we are missing out. Italian and Indian food have done well here (though many Indian restaurants are boring and the Italian and Pizza Chains are truly dreadful) So why not Spanish?
Seems like we are long overdue some great Spanish bars and restaurants.
Thursday, June 30th, 2011
I have a weight problem – a rather large one actually. Thankfully, I have been dieting for the last few months and have lost a couple of stone, but I have a long way to go and can see me dieting for the next couple of years. When I was young I could run like a horse, play squash (badly), lift huge weights, balance on the edge of cliffs (ok, probably wasn’t quite that stupid) and generally had no weight issues at all. So what went wrong?
Easy – I ate too much. It is all about what I call Fatonomics.
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