She was born in Burma, in Rangoon in the early twenties and lived there until the Japanese invasion in 1942. Her family first went out to India in the 1840s and the book covers those first years, using what she was able to find out from relatives from when she was a child, and then goes into huge detail about what it was like living in Burma as the child of a very ordinary family.

This is not the story of colonial arrogance or of British rule – she went to school with people of every background, Burmese, Japanese, German, English, Irish, Chinese, and their lives were thoroughly mixed up with those people around them. She tells of how they moved from house to house as their fortunes changed, of my Grandfather’s involvement with the local community, including his involvement with saving the life of Sir Paw Tun, the Burmese Prime Minister, and how he ran aid and arms for the Americans to the Chinese rebels.

She also tells of her schools, of the food they ate, of the people they met and knew. She tells of tigers and monkeys and parrots, of dust roads, old cars and door to door trades people.

It is a very personal tale so far removed from the histories that draws the reader in to a way of life long gone from this world.  And my mother is a stunningly good writer – it is a highly enjoyable read!

He is not joking. I have second early spuds to go out and main crop chomping on their heels, but the ground is so wet that there is not a chance to get onto the beds – I tried and just sank in. My cold frame is full of plants close to wanting to be put out and the green house is getting packed because of the bottle neck.

Got rid of a ton of stuff out of the shed today – things like 4-stroke oil, plastic bag holder, tarpaulin, and loads of other bits and pieces. A lot more room in there now which I will need later once the planting out gets going and I have pots coming out of my ears!

Any way, hopefully it is getting a little drier, or at least not the torrential rain we had last week – though our dog had fun in the floods! See her own blog.

Here are some photos to keep you all amused.

Sadly, the spreading of the delicious (well, for the plants, not me) food has been interupted by winds and a thousand buckets of rain that has landed on my patch.

A little bit of flooding as been most unwelcome, but the biggest pain was to find that one of the green house doors had blown off.

It has had to have an emergency fix with hardboard for the moment – I can’t afford the glass. But what a complete pain!

These two pollinating insects are vital not just to gardeners but to the environment as a whole and can even effect our economy by affecting our farming. So, it makes sense to make sure that we do our bit in giving these small guys something nice to eat just where we want them. With this in mind I have been planting flowers that are particularly popular with pollinators, such as Borage and open flower dahlias.

Arriving from Marshals in the next couple of days are five Penstemons – a perennial flower that is recommended by the RHS for pollinators.  These will get planted on one end of one of my raised beds – other seeds are getting scattered between the veg. Obviously it is give and take, so as much as I am encouraging butterflies for much of my plants, the cabbages will be well netted off! Maybe I should put up some little signs telling the butterflies keep out of that bed?

Note: For a full list of plants that attract pollinators, check out this RHS PDF: http://www.rhs.org.uk/Gardening/Sustainable-gardening/pdfs/RHS_Polinators_PlantList_V1

As you can see I have finished the first cold frame, sort of; the top is being held on with bricks at the moment but will be hinged. There will be a second, smaller one at some point too. I have also almost finished the first stage of the compost rebuild and have got all the main planking fixed. I need to finish the doors on the front, line the bins with tarpaulin and invent a couple of hinged lids of some description.

I have put out some bits in the new cold frame to harden off a little – just waiting for this cold snap to pass before planting out. I have also transplanted the first set of tomatoes into individual posts with a nice mix of compost and vermiculite.

Despite the cold weather everything is very much coming to life even as the daffodils are on their way out. Much still to do this month and I need to start on the garden as well!

What have I been up to? Well, I have been fiddling with lots of different bits. I have started rebuilding the wooden compost heap which is falling apart. I have been massacring some palettes for the wood, though one of them seems to be welded and has so far defeated my attempts to wrest the planks from it. The compost is a two compartment affair that I built when we first started a few years ago. It was only made out of feather board, so I am amazed it has lasted this long. The Frame is still good and sturdy, so I am just replacing the planks, reducing the air space (not getting hot enough) and will be putting proper covers on. Oh, and painting it red, for fun. What else?

The small lawn is a real waste of space. It was fine when it was filled with fruit bushes, but we have lost a couple of those (partly down to the dog) so it is just a lawn. I have dug up a one metre wide strip up the centre, put some barrier down and covered it with Pea Shingle. This will now be used for potted veggies (which I want to work on this year) plus a small cold frame or two.

My first early potatoes are planted – six nice neat rows with 5 spuds in each. The weather is pretty cold at the moment, so I may chuck some fleece over them. I have dug a small carrot bed, seived the stones out and worked in some compost. That has been planted and covered with a cloche as a local cat thinks it is wonderful.

Green house stuff is doing well – I have kept it insulated for the moment as the cold nights are still an issue. I rather like it in there with the insulation – the light is wonderful.

I need to buy some  thin wood for my new cold frames at the weekend and get those made. I fancy painting them white, for some reason. Those will sit on the pea shingle base so they will be for seed trays and small pots rather than planting in the ground.  Pots put out on the shingle will include lots of herbs, peppers (when the weather is better), cherry tomatoes and probably one or two more permanent potted things – they can then be moved into the green house on bad days and over winter.

I also need to buy some of the cheap, blue poly pipe for creating a large net tunnel for my cabbages. Previously, the construction has been from canes wired together, but the net gets so tangled that weeding becomes a nightmare.  Cheapest I have found is from FWB at about £26 for 50 meters. Not sure how much I need, but I think each hoop will need to be betweeen 3 and 4 meters to be a sensible height. I can do two or three long beams with canes (one at the top, another two a little way down, but not too far down) to make it strong. If I get it right, lifting the net to weed will be a doddle.

I have already prepared the bed for the cabbages and one of the other large beds. Although I already had them well turned over, I have taken advantage of the frost to give them an extra turn to get the rain right in and break up some remaining heavier soil – they just need to be raked now. I should pop up and do the remaining small beds later so they get the best of the frost and rain too.

So, lots to do! Photos soon, I promise!

A potato pasty will also make you fat

Peta, (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) has been heavily criticised by the National Obesity Forum for a billboard put up in Gloucester that shows a meat pie in the shape of a coffin – the message is supposed to say that going vegan is a cure for obesity.

The tasteless advert adds nothing to the obesity debate – apart from being simply inaccurate (I think back to a couple of vegan and vegetarian friends who had terrible weight issues), this is Peta simply taking advantage of people’s misfortune to make a cheap political point.

One of the greatest causes of obesity is simply eating too much – especially food that is high in carbs and calories. Potato is a good example, pastry is another and loads of pasta a particularly good one. Eat a shepherds pie (vegan style) with plenty of potato on a daily basis, and perhaps throw in a vegan lasagne for lunch and see in which direction your waistline travels.

And if you would like recipes for either of those, and plenty more, please go to the Peta Education website – here!

Eventually, I hit upon the perfect balance – Pastrami and Dolcelatte with tomato on crusty bread.

1. Take a chunk of bread
2. Butter it
3. Add a slab, and I mean slab, of creamy, ripe, Dolcelatte.
4. Cover with lots of freshly cut pastrami –  be generous
5. Top with good Italian tomato
6. Finish with a little olive oil and a little salt and pepper

It truly is a wonderful feast, the pepperiness of the pastrami is a perfect compliment to the cheese and the tomato adds just the right amount of coolness to the palette. My thanks have to go to that shop, HT Harris it seems to be called. I hope it is run by the same duo and I hope they still are as generous with their portions – they were second to none!

(And it appears I am not the only one who thinks so….)

Don't take your dog on photo shoots...

Foie Gras, produced by force feeding geese, has become more and more controversal over the last decade as the internet has allowed for faster and more effective campaigning, though many chefs have been quietly against it for many many years and it has been conspicuous by its absence on many top line menus throughout Europe.

The pâté is one of those annoying groups of food where it is glaringly obvious that the production is painful and abusive to the animal, and yet the final product is so exsquisite. I must admit that I have not eaten it for years ever since I was a sound man on a programme where we filmed the feeding of the birds, but I also have to say that till that point I loved it and hypocritically ignored the problem.

In Bret Thorn’s article, he recalls an interview the magazine did with one Chef Russell Jackson of Lafitte in San Francisco – it is a lesson in public relations, or the lack of it, for in attempting to sound strong and reasoned, the chef simply exhibits a level of pomposity that I thought had gone from the restaurants of the world many years ago (with the possible exception of Gordon Ramsey.)

So, is Foie Gras worth the fight? Well, having tried some wonderful pâtés over the years in France that were made from naturally nurtured geese, I would say no. Some may miss it, but it makes better sense to look to new foods and new forms of production that has a little more respect for the animal and a little less pointless arrogant posturing.

Okay, back to the dish. This uses ingredients that I commonly have kicking around and so should you. It takes about 10 minutes or so and can feed however many you want. However, here, I have made it selfishly just for one. Oh, and it is unashamedly hot!

Even in smaller, apparently more specialised establishments they cannot seem to get it right. The Adam & Eve pub in Mill Hill, London, has recently hit several news sites when it was revealed that their pepperoni pizza is “Saltier than the Atlantic.”

To be fair, good pepperoni has a fair amount of salt in it, but other than that, most of the flavour of a good pizza comes from the delicate mix of strong tomato sauce (no salt, just tomatoes) and olive oil. So quite how they have managed to make it quite so high in salt is a puzzle.

If, as a country, we were fussier, demanded that we only got the proper versions of things rather than the fake rubbish sold by companies like Pizza Hut and perhaps developed a culture of food where we actually understood and enjoyed the difference great food can make to the fun of life, perhaps then we would have less food issues and would not need government to sort it out – public demand would do it for us.

But we don’t. Near where I am we have a huge pub that proclaims itself as a “Carvery.” Food starts around the £5 mark. But what disgusting fair it is – their Turkey appears to be steamed, or microwaved or similar and then is coated with some sticky substance to give it the appearance of being roasted. It is revolting.

In Italy, cheap food is often pizza or pasta based – simple ingredients, used in moderation, fresh and local and stunningly good. Some of the nicest food in Italy is also some of the cheapest. We are a long way from that idea.

Note: I remember the Adam & Eve from the 1970s. Back then it was a biker pub, not a gastro pub, and was an amazing place in the summer. Loads of bikes, people lazing around on the grass in the garden, good cheap beer, chips (I think that was the limit of the menu), and a seriously good vibe. I am not a biker, but I spent a lot of time up there – it was a really good place to chill out. 

I have already dug in the manure from last year into the main beds and tomorrow will be taking the tiller up there to really mince it in – a little like making a Christmas pudding, though less appetising unless you are a plant, of course.

Today was painting day. I have finished off the trellis and painted it red. I have also started repainting the shed, but that is going to take a few coats to cover up the old green. Lots of seeds are in and waiting to germinate, so things are under way. Weeds will start growing soon, of course…

Eggs, milk, water, plain flour. That is it, ingredients that you probably have at home, to be honest – you dont need to even go out. This recipe makes a huge amount, so you can cut it down if you like.

1. In a food processor or large blender, beat 5 or 6 eggs till frothy.
2.  Add 500 grams of flour and mix well.  Add a pinch of salt.
3. Add 500 milk gradually while beating till properly mixed in (use a spatula to scrape anything off the side of the blender/processor)
4. Add 500 ml cold water and beat until smooth.
5. Add a couple of table spoons of sunflower or groundnut oil and beat in.

Okay, ignore the mixture and go and sort out the rest of the evening. You will get better pancakes if the mixture has been allowed to stand for a while – a couple of hours is great, but even 20 minutes is useful.

When you are ready to cook your pancakes, add a couple of table spoons of cold water and give the mix another blast. Cook in a hot, non-stick pan, just wiping the pan with an oily bit of kitchen towel.

Keep making pancakes and serving them fresh to your friends until they start falling over and groaning in agony.

I love my pancakes flambéed with Grand Manier, but stocks of ice cream, maple syrup, lemons, sugar, honey and warm chocolate are also good! Marmalade and Whiskey is another favourite.

Eat well, and enjoy the fact that you have had proper pancakes and not the miserable rubbish you get out of bottles of instant mix!

First up I have a couple of tomatoes – a small beefsteak and a really large plum cooking tomato. I am only growing a few plants up at the allotment, the rest will be grown at the house by the garage as we did previously. This will be in very well drained pots and watered regularly. Hopefully I can avoid the blight that has been, well, blighting us for the last couple of years!

The main greenhouse will be used for peppers and herbs (as well as the vine and peaches that are already there). On the herb front I am growing coriander, basil and oregano in the green house and rosemary and parsley outside. A few more like thyme will get added outside as I go along. The outside herbs will be in pots in the middle of the little allotment lawn.  Peppers include a large hot pepper, a long, mild green chili, and a small sweet chili.

I already have onions, shallots and garlic planted, though I might add some later ones to keep things moving. To this I will also add leeks and celeriac.

For the roots I have two types of carrot – a mid early sweet one and a mid late one – plus turnips and beetroot.

I cam keeping the bean production simple this time around with some nice broad beans (which need to go in soon) and some small bush French beans. I couldn’t make up my mind which peas, so I need to pick some up locally. We have failed at peas over the last few years and I need to work these out a bit better. I think I might grow them by the onion beds once I sort out the frames.

On the green end of the scale I have some nice savoy cabbage, a long cabbage, some brocolli and sprouts. I was hesitant about cauliflower, and seem to have forgotten it entirely.

Lastly in this batch are some rounder shaped courgettes which look very nice and a very large pumpkin.

So, anything missing?

Well, yes. I have not decided on what potatoes I will grow this year – something different, I think.  Also, I may well add more herbs and small amounts of other bits and pieces. I need to do sweetcorn too, or there will be trouble. I am going to try growing small crops of things this year so that I can get more variety rather than quantity. So I will add spinach, chard and so on. I may not grow lettuce up at the allotment, or just a few in some of the side beds. I still have my winter stuff in the greenhouse, so that will come out as the weather gets warmer. Oh, spring onions is another thing I should think about!

I will get there, eventually.

The mild winter means that all my garlic and onions are sprouting – some of the onions are around 6 inches tall. I hope we don’t get a sudden bout of violently cold weather that wipes everything out. Back in November I was given a pair of seriously good secateurs and now everything that can be trimmed has been duly trimmed. For Christmas I was given a stick chopper, which will come into its own later in the year, and a sharpening stone. That is already being used as I have started sharpening my Azada’s and spade.

Later in January I am planning to order the long handled fork and spade form Get Digging so that I am all set for a big dig come late winter. Back in our garden at home the lawn is looking completely wrecked. I should have worked on that mid autumn, but I missed the opportunity. So in spring I will start seeding like mad and try and get it back to where it should be.  I also need to work on what I am planting in pots both at home and at the allotment. The garden is fairly sheltered, so I will be growing some cherry tomatoes in pots on the patio as well as   a row of Italian cooking tomatoes out by the garage. But I might see what else I can grow on the patio for fun.

I also need to collect some cheap plastic pots and containers for some mixed planting I am planning on the small lawn at the allotment. No idea what I will grow yet, however. So, just need to get past winter, and off we go!

• Bears don’t get smoked salmon. Surely you smoke cigars, and you EAT salmon!
• If Christmas is a time for giving, who gets to do all the receiving?
• Never shove something up a chimney that’s stops something else coming down.
• Bears that hide in wait for Santa are seen as spoilsports – or at least greedy.
• Reindeer are best served medium rare.
• There is nothing more uncivilised than two bears squabbling over the last red nose.
• To remove an arm from inside a turkey it helps to first unclench the paw.
• Christmas Puddings are not missiles.
• Remember, rabbits are not just for Christmas. They are pretty good whenever you are hungry.
• If a bear is smiling at you, make sure you are not wearing a turkey outfit.
• Don’t waste time chasing a turkey when you can just steal one from a butcher.
• Before handing over money, make sure the carol singers aren’t surprisingly furry.
• Christmas stuffing is not a punishment.
• Fake Christmas trees make really bad disguises.
• The safest way to give a bear a present is with a trebuchet.
• Basic arithmetic: a bear at Christmas will significantly increase your food bill.
• Getting a bear out of a fridge is harder than getting him in.
• Remember, bears are not just for Christmas. No, I am serious – you really DON’T want a bear for Christmas!
• Punching a turkey hard is no way to remove the feathers – however much fun!
• Always make sure a bear enjoys his Christmas. If that fails, run.
• If the Christmas movie isn’t Grizzly Adams, panic.
• If a bear is holding up mistletoe he probably isn’t thinking about kissing.

It takes very little time to make and all the ingredients are straight out of your local shop. So, here goes:

The joke is, of course, just like its predecessor, the Perfectly Ripe Avocado, this new product is several days off being ripe. I have picked up these small twin packs several times to find that the contents is hard and inedible. The packaging, oblivious to the fact that the contents is far from the smooth creamy experience that accompanies the properly ripe avocado, instructs you to keep it in the fridge to stop it ripening more! I haven’t tried, but I am not keen on the idea of waiting several weeks for my green cricket ball of a fruit to become something that you can shove beneath a prawn or two.

The new packet sat in my nice warm kitchen a couple of days until I thought I should try the first of the twins. Rock Hard. My super sharp chef’s knive managed to cut through the flesh, but the challange was completely beyond the capabilities of my teaspoon. Into the compost with it!

The second avocado I have just tried. It certain felt more or less ripe, but as you can see, the result inside the skin is watery and uneven and has a bitter taste that has taken the combined scrubbing power of several Peroni beers to remove from my pallet.

I have never yet found an avocado in a supermarket labelled as “ripe” that is actually anything of the sort. It is simple misrepresentation for the sake of adding extra cost to the product. Tesco are not the only company that sells such waste of supermarket shelf space, but then since all the major Supermarket Companies basically sell the identical “own brand” products with different labels (most of the time they even have the identical shaped packaging) this is hardly surprising.

The bottom line is, if you want a decent Avocado – get it from a proper grocer and ripen it yourself!

I do like turkey, but I prefer goose. I am aware, however, that those assembled are not so keen so I will probably stick with the normal bird. Maybe a Norfolk Black or something this year. I will probably vary the way I cook it. There are only five of us so I will be going for a smaller bird and I think I will take advantage of the extra room that gives in the roasting pan and part steam the bird over white wine, stock and plenty of veg – then brown the bird separately towards the end of the cook, probably while roasting off potatoes.

I tend not to do starters at Christmas; mostly because everyone loves puddings too much! But I do want to spend some time on trimmings this year.  I want to do something with chicken livers, I think. Maybe as a paté or forcemeat and used as a layer with something else wrapped in pastry – a mini game pie, perhaps, on the side. It would certainly make an interesting balance with the bird. I also want to take a little bit of a lead from Hugh F-W and his vegetarian sebatical this year and do something a little more interesting with the veg. Sprouts are a must, but anything else is up for grabs. Cauliflower purée might make a base for something. Wrapping something in paper is another thought.

I think I quite like the idea of a plate made up of set pieces. So, a small pile of turkey meat with gravy, a small pie, a small stuffed vegi, a made up turine of mixed stuffings layered, a roasted paper parcel of sprouts with herbs and pancetta, maybe – all made up as single servings of each. I could either serve these on flat serving dishes – you just pick the mix you want – or go to town and present fully on the plate. I think the former as the latter makes it look like that is all you are going to get!

Pudding wise, other than the apple pie recipe I worked out the other day, I am not sure yet.  I should probably stick to the formula I am using for the main course, so small portions or even as small as mouthfuls - again, take you pick. Home made Ice Cream should definitely be part of this, layered with something like an orange and honey syrup, perhaps.  I quite fancy something fresh on the palette, so maybe something interesting with fresh fruit. Actually, thinking about it, fruit kebabs flambéed with brandy might be rather fun – bring them in flaming! We are not great Christmas pud eaters, so this might be the compromise.

Christmas is always a challenge when it comes to food and it can also be a worry. So anything planned or even cooked in advance (like the pie and the ice cream) has got to be a clever thing to do!

Generally speaking, I am not a great pie maker; especially since it is very definitely on my diet black list! But others in the family love them, so I might as well get them worked out in advance – useful for those who visit the site too! Rather pointless getting a Christmas recipe after the event.

There are no clever twists and turns here, this is very straightforward pie making. However, I do strongly recommend non-stick pans for these sorts of pies – if they leak, they can glue themselves to anything and you will really appreciate the non stick. After all, you don’t want to go all safe on the amount of stuffing. So, on to the recipe…

One of the two blueberry plants that sit in brightly painted dustbins by the small green house has the most beautiful red leaves at the moment, and inside the larger, now insulated green house, lettuces, radishes, carrots and chard are pushing there way through the soil with fresh green shoots.

Meanwhile, I have also taken a delivery of stable waste from one of the local yards. For only twenty quid I got an entire tractor trailer load delivered and dropped only a few hundred feet from the allotment – it was as close as he could get.

Forty plus barrow loads later and we have a huge pile sitting waiting to rot down for the spring. This is not pure horse manure – it is a good mixture of horse, shredded paper and shredded wood chip. I am hoping that by piling it high enough and getting it nice and hot, it will reduce down to a good mulch that I can spread in the spring. I know people want pure muck, but much of my ground is very muddy and has a high clay level, so this might do the trick.

The pile has already settled a bit since Sunday when I spent 5 hours moving the damned stuff. Either that or in my dizzy, shattered state it looked a whole lot bigger.

Carrots, Sweat Pea, Chard and Radish

In the greenhouses, the plants are busy. The peppers are still producing peppers but with shorter and shorter days, I think I will have to pick them green or they will be useless.  The lettuces are coming up nicely. I have planted some winter Gems and some other general leaf. I will pick them younger than normal and even just remove leaves as I need them, though they are far too young as yet. The Chard will also get used for salad leaf. The sweat peas are growing too much, so I will pick out the tops next time I am up, see if that slows them down for the winter. With any luck I will have some chunky little plants ready to go out early spring.

I think the water has now been turned off, but my two water butts are full, so that will be fine. I have water for the kettle, a jar of coffee and some bits for the puppy, although she is no lover of the allotment; I wont let her run round. I do need to do a little tidying up. The clearer I keep it over winter, the better the start in the spring – well, maybe.  I am just hoping that the pla

Like many things we buy, the trick is rather than buy a whole pile of cheap ham for a few pounds, buy less of the really nice stuff for the same price – the smaller quantity will be good for your waistband and the better quality will be good for your soul.

I sometimes look for the end cuts – the bits that are a little bit fattier and often uneven thickness. Perfect for this dish.

There you go – English Ham and Pasta. A perfect combination.

Sealed leg of pork waiting to go in the oven

I know I have covered roast pork before, but tonight it turned out particularly nicely, so I thought I would give you the recipe.

I used a fairly cheap cut of pork that you would find in most supermarkets, but if you want to splash out on something exceptional, well, I think you should go for it. I am always amazed at how big the difference between cheap, intensively produced meat, and slow grown, carefully bred and nurtured meat. The biggest difference tends to be in the cooking. For instance, a few years ago I was able to purchase half a lamb with some friends of ours. It was a rare breed animal from an organic farmer who believed quality was the be all and end all of the job.

The lamb had more fat on it that the fast grown ordinary fare but this fat, when the meat was cooked was golden in colour, crisp and gave the meat a delicate, joyous flavour. It was like a completely different product. I was quite happy to eat less (it was expensive) and enjoy the moment rather than buy cheap just so I could have a large plateful.

Anyway, back to the pig and on with the recipe!

For fast food companies the same rule has applied – a customer who loved you as a child would more likely be loyal as an adult. But recently, with more awareness about health and dietary issues in kids, the kids fast food market has taken a bit of a hit. So, Burger King in the US (following on the heals of McDs) are repackaging and relaunching their childrens meals in a bid to get the kids back in and their future customer base assured. 

It is gratifying to see that both companies have reacted to criticism of their children’s offerings; in the case of Burger King they are adding apple slices and milk or juice. However, this is a means to an end rather than trying to rebuild the health of a nation.  Warren Sackler, Associate Prof of food service and hospitality at Rochester (US) points out that children are the hardest of negotiators when it comes to their choice of fast food restaurants. “They always win!”

Burger King relies on this and they want the kids to pressurise the parents to take them to BK outlets. So, whether you order the new boxed children’s meal or not, when you go to Burger King, the child will be given a Free Crown.  Burger King got rid of the King icon sometime ago, but with this clever bit of PR the child is made the king instead, and what young child can resist that!

Of course, once hooked into their semi-healthy children’s menu, the fast food company is in the perfect position to convert the child into an adult customer eating the less healthy menu. You have to remember that Fast Food companies are not trying to sell you one of your main meals, they are selling you food IN ADDITION to what you normally eat.  And they are successful at it – look at the queues at fast food outlets in the city outside of traditional meal time.

It is a business model that grew out of the confectionery market where their offerings were seen as treats not replacements. “The snack you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite.”

Fast food restaurants are not evil, but they are businesses in the business of selling cheap and often. If  they were only used at lunchtime, they would not survive. The new children’s meals are designed to grow the new generation of customer who see box fulls of food as a nice treat and will become greedy because it is cheap to do so.

Oh, as a note, with more and more restrictions coming in preventing companies advertising such products to children, how with the kids even know about this? It is simple really. Kids talk to each other, and when that does not work, the parents will tell them all about it. Daft, isn’t it.

I was reminded today that it is my birthday in a few weeks and was asked what I would like. Since the allotment is my new keep fit thing, I suggested a couple of things related to that. While I was up at the patch doing some weeding, it got me to thinking what would be my ultimate allotment wish list – apart from having more land, of course! (I think I want a small holding, I have decided).

A couple of items sprung to mind immediately – a new, rust proof pair of secateurs would be nice and a good gardening knife would be very handy. Oh, and just about anything from Get Digging.  So, coming up next is my ultimate, and faintly ridiculous, allotment wish list!

Hand Tools

Starting with the secateurs, Felco seems to be the make of choice. I know it sounds silly, but these particular ones have a red handle which makes them easier to find – though, to be honest, I probably need ones with a homing beacon!

I suppose a proper gardener would also want the holster, but since I dont wear a belt that is probably pointless.  I think a tool something or other may be in order; I will get to that later. They also do an over the top ceramic sharpening stone, but I think I would be happy with an ordinary whetstone.

We did have a decent pruning knife at the allotment once, but it vanished, sadly. So I really could do with a new one of those.

I also fancy something more manly – like a chopper so that I can massacre plant stalks for the compost as well. A machete of some sort jumps to mind, though that may be a bit big and to be honest the curve would be a pain. There is something called a stick chopper which is probably more the right shape. Of course, the compromise is a double edged bill hook – that probably gives me everything and is suitably dangerous!

Leaping off to another shop, the rather wonderful Get Digging, they do a range of long handled tools – I already use their azadas, and they are truly wonderful, but I have eyes on their long handle forks and spades too.

Power stuff

I have made a couple of mistakes when buying power tools for the garden. I bought be very expensive tiller to find it is not as good as some of the cheaper ones and I bought a multi tool strimmer-mower thing which has never worked properly. The problem with all of these things is that you cant leave things at the allotment – as we found out once before, they get stolen! However, this is a fun wish list, so here goes.

A small petrol lawnmower would be overkill, but fun. This one seems all I would need. Really, it is only doing the borders of the allotment.

A strimmer might be more use – especially a cordless one with a seriously good rechargeable battery. I get fed up with 2 stroke stuff, to be honest. I would rather walk up and down with batteries. Oh, probably should have a second battery too!

I think if I were to get another rotovator/tiller thing, I would go for something that had decent wheels and much bigger digging width.  This one is twice the size and power of the one I bought and the same price.

Greenhouse

We have two small ones at the moment. In an ideal world, I would like to lose the small one and put up a bigger Polytunnel instead. To be honest, I really dont have room unless I took over the other allotment we used to have. But this would increase our growing season and mean I can grow things that I simply cannot do at the moment. One note, however, if you ever decide to go for a poly, you MUST buy a proper nursery grade one.  There are loads of cheap ones out there, but unless you want them to shred and blow away in a breeze, you would avoid them like the plague. Good quality ones are not hugely expensive – £400 will get you one with everything you need that is 20 feet long.

Assuming I had a poly, I would also need more shelving and so on, but I can make that given enough wood!

I have been wondering about a greenhouse heater for the larger of our two greenhouses. We have no power up at the allotment, so it would have to be a paraffin header of some sort or a gas heater. Though I can imagine that the allotment people would probably be not happy with either!

Talking of wood, I really would like to finish the raised beds and I am short of wood to do it with.

Pots and Stuff

I have loads of plastic pots, but I fancy having some more decorative things around that I can grow individual plants in – cherry tomatoes, peppers, that sort of thing. At the allotment I probably dont want ceramic pots – too heavy to lug around. There are all kinds of planters around though. Some basic square ones probably cover a lot of sins, though I quite fancy come wooden barrel style ones too and possibly some nice, colourful decorative ones as well.

Soil

This is not so much for the wish list, but I do need to improve the soil. I have various composting things going on for next year, but I also need a ton of manure to turn in. So – any volunteers out there?

Gred Wallace and John Torode (BBC)

The most recent series of Celebrity Masterchef has just finished having spent most of the series as a BBC Daytime afternoon show. This was not repeats, this was a brand new series, but it has been moved from its prime time slot. According to the BBC this new slot would allow “a greater examination of the celebrities’ cooking skills … There will be more hours of Celebrity MasterChef than ever before.” Pity it is loosing ratings then.

Of course, any of us who have ever spent time in the Media world (and I have lived there for 30 years) knows that your show is NEVER moved to a day time slot because that will be beneficial – it is moved as the last resort before you are axed.

Whatever the case, Masterchef, this present incarnation of the show, has certainly become very tired very quickly.When it was first relaunched back in 2005 as the appallingly named “Masterchef Goes Large” it was certainly very different to the original programme. It was much more long-winded and demanding for the contestants and was far more edgy. I am not sure the choice of the judges sat that well – they were far too happy to fall in with the producers rather unoriginal desire to give it unnecessary tension every few minutes. Sadly, this takes away from the actual challenge that was being posed and made it more confrontational than was appropriate. In more recent series I am glad to see this has softened.

But this has now been running for six years and despite many tweaks, it has become tired. It has yet to achieve the prestige of Mastermind, though it has produced some new chefs which is always welcome!

Michel Roux Junior (Wikipedia)

There is an exception that perhaps proves the rule and that is Masterchef: The Professionals. This version is open to working cooks and chefs who wish to use it as part of their climb up the very greasy ladder of the catering industry. What makes this series so remarkably different is the placing of Michel Roux Jnr as the judge. This holder of two Michelin stars not only has vast knowledge both of his own and learned from his famous father and uncle, but, like his ancestors, has a reputation for fairness and belief in the next generation.

The tasks are much harder than for the amateur and celebrity versions, but it is the empathy, even sympathy, that Roux shows for the contestants that lifts this show far above its stable mates.  However critical he may be of some of the attempts, he never critisises without then teaching – even the most lax of professionals learn from him.

He is obviously no lover of the producers either and slowly you have seen him move away from the scripted nonsense they want him to say during the judging conversations. This was most apparent in “Michel Roux’s Service” a programme where he was absolutely determined that this was not going to be another reality TV show jaunt. After the first episode, it was plainly obvious that one of the candidates placed in the show was designed to cause as many problems as possible.  Roux’s solution? Kick him off the show and concentrate on actually giving some young people a chance. Touché!

What many viewers may not know is that the Roux family have been running educational programmes, scholarship programmes and generally promoting British Chefs for years, so no wonder he is so good at this.

It is time for Masterchef, or at least the celebrity and amateur strains, to take another rest, me thinks. But let us keep Roux going with the professionals, or maybe just merge it with his own scholarship programme. That programme really does meet the BBC criteria to educate, inform and entertain. No wonder the Pro version has won BAFTA awards.

You have to remember that because this is up at the allotment I have no heat, so this is only helping to take the edge off at night; if we get a very cold period it will not do much if there is no sun to get the heat up during the day. But my hope is that I can get a few things going over the winter, at least to get some crops coming up early in the spring.

According to Monty Don on the BBC’s Gardeners World bubble wrap has an interesting history. Invented back in the 1950s by Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes, it was originally designed as wallpaper. When that didn’t take off, it was sold as greenhouse insulation. So this use actually predates being used as a packing material!

Anyway, enough of the history, the allotment was looking rather nice in the sunshine. This shows the small garden area we have where all our fruit trees and bushes are. The area is a little larger than intended due to the demise of a couple of berry bushes, so I will be building a narrow raised bed over the winter in the middle – not too large, it is rather useful having a small work area. I will put it up towards the smaller greenhouse you can see on the left, just by a small apple tree that is there.

I have not decided whether to wrap up that greenhouse too. I think probably not. Although I have bubble wrap left, it is not enough to do the job so I will probably use it for additional insulation in the larger greenhouse – around pots and so on. Also might use it to stop my supply of water freezing – well, I have to be able to have coffee!

I checked on my small red gooseberry cuttings and they are not dead yet, though I think it will be some months before they show much life. They are in the small green house and I should probably move them over tomorrow to the insulated one. I have quite a lot of room in there. I will swap over some of the things I have stored in the large one too. I still have peppers growing in the small one – will see if they do anything now, though.

So all in all it was a fine day. I still have much to do. Tomorrow the Chairman of the allotments is bringing the shredder up to our end of the field so I should get down there in the morning and get rid of the stuff I have accumulated. Some of it will go in the compost and some on the paths.

I was going to burn it, but with the new houses build right next door (you can see them in the image above) I think bonfires are going to be a thing of the past. Shame. I like a nice bonfire in the autumn! Especially if you have one large enough to get some potatoes baking. But then, I am meant to be on a diet anyway!

Oh, well.

A good, leavened flat bread – soft, bouncy, warm and tear-able is a feast not to be missed, and using it as a wrap for cold meats, or for wiping up a chilli is, to say the least, a delight. It is pretty easy too (especially if you have a big mixer – convert here) and does not need an oven. This is my variation and sits somewhere between Mediterranean ideas and a Naan. 

Recipe: Stove Cooked Leavened Flat Bread

“It is about what we eat, how we cook it and about portion size.”

She is absolutely right. We don’t NEED calorie counts! We need smaller plates. We need to stop supermarkets trying to sell us more than we should eat. Why else, even at this time of austerity are supermarket profits rising? As anyone who reeds this blog knows, I am fat – I am dangerously obese and I am working hard at becoming not obese at all. In the end, I am achieving this by the simple expedient of eating less than I use. I have not added it up, I have not read clever books and I do not sit around trying to read the tiny print on labels. I just eat little enough so that I am hungry. And guess what? I have lost 45 kg. It is not easy, and I get stuck sometimes and it seems to go wrong and all the rest – but it is not complicated either.

However, Prof. Philip James of the International Association for the Study of Obesity said her idea was “Stupid and Pathetic.” Apparently, “It is not simply a question of personal responsibility. There is an environmental problem in terms of the food system we have.”

He and others are far more worried about advertising of junk food and wants to see more regulation coming down on the retailers. Well, I have no problem with that, but it wont stop people getting fat. You can eat a McDs without getting fat – as long as it is your main meal. Not the healthiest thing out, but you will be okay. People get fat because they EAT TOO MUCH. They have too big a portion of dinner at home, they buy chickens that are bigger than they need, they buy huge bags of crisps and keep sweets permanently in a draw at home rather than making them a treat. Then they eat junk food on top.

I am fat, not because of junk food – I hate the stuff! I am fat because I have big plates and I fill them up.

How complicated do you want to make this?